TO SOMEONE ...I LOVE

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 ⁣

For the longest time of my existence, I have been someone who left space while standing under the umbrella. I have been someone who slept with open doors and windows fearing the loneliness around me. I have watched strangers in the park giggling and wondered how it felt to be someone's reason to smile. ⁣

⁣And then you happened to me. You happened to me when I forgot the difference between a candle lit for prayers and the one for funerals. I don't have enough words inside my heart to describe you. My eyes have smiled in silence at the Orange  of your dress. My pen wrote about your earrings so many times that I almost felt them. My lips have whispered your name for so long that it felt like breathing. ⁣

⁣I love(d) you in ways that seasons felt like days passing by the window of a dying old man. I love(d) you when I forgot what love felt like. I love(d) you in ways that I no longer recognize the parts of me that don't bleed when I look in the mirror. ⁣

⁣God, I wish I could name you but God, I can not. Why can't I? My love, you were the best thing that happened to me. I wonder if there is still a sky somewhere out in the universe, where I get to sit with you and for once, count the stars until one of us falls asleep on the latter's shoulder. ⁣

⁣I almost had you. I almost thought that you felt the same. And I don't know why am I not dead yet, knowing you didn't. ⁣

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