voice note

 A Voice note I left in her inbox

“it's not a long speech as I am out of words quite often these days, especially when I want to talk. I miss you a lot, suddenly. More often than I should. I randomly talk to the flowerpot you gifted me last year. And I still water the dead hibiscus in your name. I guess people try the most when things are gone. They asked me to spend whole day for one phone call. mumbai is brutally cold these days. Especially these days, because, perhaps, most probably — you are not around anymore. absence is cold because it's hauntingly alive always. there's a new word game that the entire internet is playing. I typed your name in it and it said word not found — the irony of loving somebody stays here, where the person is not found after a brief moment in love. I am sorry, but I have to tell you that you were a terrible kisser. I have to tell you that whenever you laughed into my chest I almost wanted to kiss you but you were still a terrible kisser. this is why your name still stays in my mouth for the way it hurts my lips. I remember the clink of your anklets; I remember the length of your earrings — this is not a good way to move on but I still have the sound of your laughter in the call recordings on my phone. funny how I have to knock at my own door, just to remember you not being there anymore to open it. They are warning me that the line is about to die. They need more coins. I am out of money to buy more time; I am out of money to buy you an apology — I am out of everything to find you again. So be it, if this is it. The line is dying. It's almost here. When it ends, I hope you know, it ends for once and all. I hope you miss me too — so much so, that one day, you would run out of coins to keep the line alive — and watch it fade into "the person you are calling is currently unavailable. Please leave your message"