A Vintage Print

I hold wild secrets in my heart. Secrets that don't have anything to do with me but affect me anyway.  I don't tell anyone about them. I can't. They're scary and too volatile for me to put them out in the open.  I hold secrets that don't mean anything anymore. Because it's over. The night's gone and the storm passed. The clouds cleared but my mind hasn't yet.  I hold them close to me and I wished I could let go. They hurt too much from being held so tightly.  They pierce at my heart when I hug them tightly. There's no other way. They need to be with me. They can't leave me. I can't leave them.  They'll forever haunt me and I shall succumb one day to the irreparable scar they give me.  I shall walk with a bleeding heart and it will still beat with as much life as it had when I was born.  One secret doesn't hold me back. But on some days, it's all I can think about.

You look beautiful tonight.  There's no way of knowing if you'll be here tomorrow. Or if there is a tomorrow to hope for. But I do hope to see you. Even if in my memories. Or my dreams. Or on a fleeting Sunday in some clouds that refuse to leave the sky. Or in just a handful of pictures that you forgot to take with you.  I just want to see you once more. You look beautiful tonight. And there isn't one thing I'd change about you here and now because I see all the experiences you've had.  I know why you are how you are and I love all of it. I'm at peace with you and with the world.  For a long time, I had forgotten what peace meant but tonight, as I look at you, I know.  The sky picks out colours just for you tonight.  I know you see these colours and wonder how vast they must be in some place away from here. How they spread out over thousands of people to mean thousands of things.  It doesn't matter.  You're here now.  This is life.  And I am at peace.

I am going to bleed on paper today, Don't worry you won't see any red stains. I am going to weep today, Yet you won't see a teardrop falling from my eye.  I guess this is what happens when your heart bleeds and your soul cries. No one can see it or feel it,but you. You feel this emptiness around, Like a helium balloon left in the sky. You don't know where to go. The ground abandoned you,  And you know you will never find a home in the sky. So you fly,fly and fly. Hoping soon someone will catch you and save you, But to be honest,how often does it happen. There are times when I think what would I be I hadn't met you, A lot less me and a lot less scarred, But I don't regret meeting you,not even for a moment. I guess my scars are a tapestry, An art depicting heartbreak. An art depicting survival. I often pour ink on paper, And I wonder do you also see it like an ocean of emotions? Do you know there's no shore to this ocean?  It's never ending. Maybe at some