A Vintage Print

I woke up this morning all smiling.  It was nothing just a message. It did not make anything all right, it was just a small favour. A kind gesture that made me smile. It made me happy. Oh yeah I love her !!  I wish I could keep a count on the number of times I dial her number and disconnect it just because my hands tremble and the number of times I tell myself just relax and take a deep breath." I cannot ignore the butterflies in my stomach when I think of her. And once in a blue moon when her name flashes on my phone ....calling  , my heart skips so many beats. The only time I felt my name sounds good was the only time I heard her call my name. Sometimes she speaks and I am lost as usual . I don't know if her words make sense l just listen to her voice and get lost in it like a small puppy  in city . Maybe now I know what it means when they say "she took my breath away." I wonder if the blind winged cupid has shot his arrow at me. I ask myself of all people why her?...

I spend most of my time in one room asking myself "Am I fine?" Sometimes the answer is yes and sometimes it's no Other times, I like to think that I'm just pretending to be fine when all the world around me moves forward with their work and their lives and their air to breathe. Sometimes its looks like the sky is bright blue and it makes me paint a rainbow across it. Sometimes it seems like the light at the end of the tunnel has forgotten its way to me and I'm in a train that's headed nowhere. Sometimes it looks like I am the light. Sometimes I look at the ceiling, how the lights got there and who was stupid enough to plant lights over someone's head? Sometimes I feel my intestines in a knot and ready to be plopped out of my mouth at any second, Sometimes the windows are shut tightly by the air itself and I don't get to breathe anymore, or even suffocate. Sometimes I fly out of the room like I have a home somewhere outside this world Sometimes the answ...

My phone doesn't feel so good lately Its notification bar seems uninteresting now Even the social media apps feel lonely Its battery lasts longer than it used to  , My phone hates to see your name drop down in my recent-chats list, every day But this idiot doesn't give up It still has your painting as its lock screen Wallpaper(not exactly ). Your contact name still has that"❤" next to it. Its gallery has a separate folder with just our photos. Your number is still at speed dial "5". My phone remembers that you believe "5" is your lucky number. It remembers that "5" hours long videocall, It remembers a lot more than that . It stays awake waiting for your text. It wants to show your smiling face on the screen when it receives a call Even though it's been so long that it hasn't heard your voice, It still remembers even the sound of your silence. My phone can still text you, if I get drunk enough sometime . It can still call you If i ...

Ye likh hi raha tha , ki tumne awaaz ki uhm Jo tumhare usual chats wale "hmm" se bohot alag thi, Tumhari sukoon bhari neend, mujhe bhi sukoon de rahi thi, Main khush tha. Meri aankhon ka nal toh khula hi hua tha, Lekin mann sukoon me bheega hua tha. Mujhe wo thoda beeta hua aur thoda aane wala dard rulaye ja raha tha, Tumhe hamesha ke liye kho dene ki vo feeling, Badi sakht hai, Kitne dino se todne ki koshish ker raha , per toot hi nahi rahi, Phone katne ki awaaz se nazar screen pe padi, Dekha 3:37ghante ho chuke they , airtel ek ghante me hi tumhe door kar deta tha, Per jio ka shayad dil bada tha

Ring, ring.  Pick up call , please I don't know if I'd ever be able to muster up this courage again, I've to tell you things, Thing that I should have told you Long, long before.  Ring, ring. I can feel my heart beat in my rib cage Did you know? The rib cage protects the heart When you told me was your heart, Did you make me a rib cage? To protect me from the big bad world? Or was it one of the those things That you said because that's what people say ?? Ring, ring I've never wanted someone to pick up the phone So desperately before Isn't there supposed to be a connection? Between true lovers? Aren't you supposed to know when I need you the most? I need you to pick up the phone, Not want. Not wish Need  Ring, ring I don't think I can keep up with this much longer. The ringing is about to stop. We can't let it stop Not till I hear your voice and I know , you're okay That I'll be okay. That we'll be okay  Ring, ring.  They invented the tele...

I wonder what's harsher?  When they say that they don't love you Or When they say that they don't love you any........ more.  I wonder what makes the heart break into more pieces?  When they leave abruptly ? Or When they struggle to stay  I wonder what's sadder?  Being alone  Or  Being lonely when together I wonder how the heart will be?  When the heart is whole again  When the wounds have healed If it will he the same lonely when together I wonder how the heart will be?  When the heart is whole again  When the wounds have healed  If it will be the same  Will it be stronger?  Will it be braver?  Will it be harder?  Or will it still stay soft? Skip at the thought of love Will it be courageous enough to feel again?  Yes it says Go ahead and fall again, it says I'm made to love and break l'll be here Still , when its all over  Soft as ever .

People say " come out from shell "  "Be a party animal "  " Speak more "  " Speak often "  " Increase the volume of your voice "  . . . . . . Words , for me  , a bomb having five letters  Sometime healer  Sometime destroyer  Sometime motivator  Sometime de motivator  Sometime pain giver  Sometime pain killer  Sometime pacific  Sometime torturer  Words when rightly placed cause beautiful timbre  And when not rightly placed chaos  As word can mend your broken part in the same  way it can satter you into pieces and make u paralyze  And yeah , at the end of day they ask me , " why measure my words before speaking ?? "  " Why can't i get rid of myself from this ' reticent self '  .....well my dear friend exactly know the answer ...they predict the line that i would say ...:  " Tum nahe samahajo gai "